TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: #POTUS Edition

THE PRESIDENT STILL HAS NOT UPDATED TO iOS7

THE PRESIDENT STILL HAS NOT UPDATED TO iOS7

Barack Obama, Penny Pritzker

These starcrossed lovers share a tender moment

EXCLUSIVELY on C4T: For those who missed my groundbreaking exposé of sexual harassment in the White House last night, I am disturbed to report this story. Thanks to an eager White House intern (who has disclosed to me that she was harassed by both President Obamackie and Vice President Biden), Charlize 4 Truth has obtained this intern’s screenshot of the President’s text message conversation with his Secretary of Commerce, Penny Pritzker, where POTUS is clearly intoxicated and offers to promote the SOC if she performs semi-sexual favors for him in violation of the sacred contracts of their marriages.

The President left his phone unlocked on his desk while drunkenly snoozing; the intern saw the following conversation and decided that God and Country obligated her to act. We salute you, intern.

MONDAY: News from the Senate Floor

 SOTU_2014_zoomoutSOTU Sux

  • President Obamackie: “The state of my golf game is strong.” This is what POTUS is prioritizing, folks: Golf. #PutterInChief? He claims to be “working on his strokes.”
  • SOTU was hacked by a half-baked PAC called “Millennials for Jeb.” So much for cybersecurity, White House.
  • Obamackie requested that Sen. Rand Paul stop spamming his inbox with Ayn Rand quotes. Does this President ever stop complaining?!
  • Reps’ tasteful response: “We’re fucked.”

GOP Post-Session Press Conference

Sen. Bob Corker: We can agree with McConnell that the President’s focus on reforms to the Post Office seems out of touch with Americans.

Sen. Marco Rubio: I think that we have a strong base in the Senate led by the GOP, and we are ready to respond to the President’s weakness.

Corker: We’re all pretty optimistic.

Rubio: We can’t ignore the way Obama glossed over the glaring flaws in his foreign policy. It’s up to us to mend the fences he’s broken.

Corker: We’re considering naming post offices after Bibi Netanyahu, a true patriot.

Rubio: …of both Israel and America.

C4T Page Six! Gossip from the CongressSim Rumor Mill…

pagesix5

~ Name this Senator who was sexting with Scott Brown during the Foreign Relations meeting Monday night…

~ Which party has plans to seize the ASCMC drone and use it collect damning evidence on political opponents?

~ A certain sitting U.S. President has a crippling addiction to alcohol… Can you guess who it is?!

~ This “tough on immigration” Senator has an illegal maid working in his or her home!

All about Charlize

Charlize-Johnson

#LookAtMe

Patriots and heretics,

Welcome to Charlize4Truth (C4T) — a new independent, conservative, truth-focused journalistic endeavor by me, Charlize C. Johnson.

I am an alumna of the left-wing Claremont McKenna College (friends close, enemies closer, etc.); a muckraker; a #real American; and a renowned scholar of the super significant and understudied POTUS Millard Fillmore. My best-selling biography of him, ‘More Millard, Please, may or may not be available on Amazon. No way to be sure anymore in the #AgeofObama.

Follow me on Twitter if you agree that Obama is a homosexual, and you love the constitution. My idol and inspiration, Charles C. Johnson, said it best… If you are interested in more American truth-telling of this sort, follow me on Twitter and read my posts here on C4T. Send tips/praise to @Charlize4Truth on Twitter or charlize.c.johnson@gmail.com.